Finally back!

Damn, nearly a year, can you believe it?

Anyway, I believe the "little late" comment is a bad idea since it's more than just a little overdue for a new post.

Moving on to the subject for today, I can give you a heads up on my "new toy", the lenovo g550.... brilliant piece of kit and definitely worth every cent I paid for it.

Now, for more up to date stuff, I recently started at a new job, have to say it's tons of fun and really worth the effort to get up every morning. Now I hear you ask what could be so good about it? Well, let me tell you this, I get paid to work roughly 30 minutes everyday... I know, I know, sounds to good to be true, but let's take a look at the downside: my time isn't my own anymore, I can't just leave without letting somebody know and I have to be on time every day... but still, I'm selling mobile phones, so it's fun.

So, this is only a short post, just to let everybody know I'm still alive and all that and as usual I do have a very important tip: If you have a mobile phone worth a couple of bucks, never put it in your shirt pocket and go fishing, you WILL drop it in the water.

My new toy

Ok, got some good news for everybody, I got my new notebook up and running (yay!) and felt it would be appropriate to write something about it, so this is a bit of a technical blog for a change.

Right, so let's get this thing going, specs are as follows:
Lenovo G550
Dual Core Celeron (think it 2.6Ghz, but hey, who gives a damn?)
2GB Ram
250GB SATA drive

Currently I'm running Ubuntu ultimate on it and I have to say it performs a lot better than my old Acer 4223wmi used to, the only small issue I have is the keyboard, it's your typical IBM clicky type keyboard which I actually love, but I spent so much time on the soft touch keyboard on the Acer that it just feels weird.

Anyway, that's about as technical as I want to get these days, so back to my screwy old style... that is, if you can actualy call it style!

Have you ever wondered if the USA actually ever landed man on the moon or was it just a giant hoax? Think about it and feel free to comment if you want me to say anything about it.

So now, on to my usual tip of the day, if you like drinking tea while working on your notebook, never get it too close to the keyboard... unless you have a Lenovo with waterproof keyboard, but still, it is a bad idea!

I really hope you find this tip usefull, for some of you it may be a bit too late, but hey, it's common sense.

Back again

Ok, ok, I know it's been a while since my last blog post, but hey, what can I say? It's been a busy time and to be honest I didn't really have anything to write about.

So, you may be asking what's been happening in my life since my last post, to be honest, not much actually... I mean, sure, I became an uncle again, I started training one of my dogs, working on the farm and helping old clients with issues and that's about all there is. I know what you're thinking, boy, this guy has one BORING life! And I totally agree with you! My life has always been like this and to be honest, I kinda like it this way, thank you very much. Now, I challenge you to take a long, hard look at your own life and let's see how exciting it is...

Anyway, back to the post at hand and the way I currently feel and the way I think this country is going with all this soccer nonsense... Personally I think this country is going to be more screwed up after the soccer, sure, a couple of folks will make some money, but let's be honest, do our hospitals have the experience, funding and equipment to deal with any major issues? I think the world will see a different side of SA with the soccer, I think they will finally realise that this country is going to shit.

Now on to another issue I feel pretty strongly about, the current politacal climate is getting interesting and I can't help wondering why the ANCYL has to go for military training, I mean, who are they going to fight and why? I'll just leave it at that, before everybody starts shouting at me and accusing me of being politically incorrect.

Moving on with the program we find ourselves on the subject of.... who knows? Maybe you should comment and give me a topic to write about, challenge me... if you dare!

Oh, almost forgot my usual tips and tricks. I thought long and hard about this tip and I have to say, it really is usefull and since I'm in such a good mood I'm going to give you two tips today, first tip: when taking a leak, always face downwind and tip number two: when preparing chicken, make sure to tie its legs before chopping off the head.

So there you go, usefull advice on a useless blog. Feel free to donate.

General issues....

Late again, I know, sorry about that, but let's be honest with each other, it's not like a million billion people are reading this.

Anyway, back to the subject. I recently met this girl..... and this blog will not be about her. This blog will in fact be what it's usually about: what ever pops into my mind, so sit back, strap yourself in and be prepared for a totally boring ride.

First off, people who know me might never have guessed it, but I actually don't like silence, I always need to have some music and recently I started reading a dummies book on how to play the guitar. It started off ok, wouldn't say great, but if you take into mind the amount of time I've been practicing (it's like 5 minutes in total) I'd say I'm above average so far, but then again I've always known I'm above average, not that I'm like some sort of genius or something, it's just that in the area where I am the average is a little bit lower than normal. For those of you who don't understand what I'm trying to say, let me make it clear: I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS.

So now that thats off my chest, let's get back to the music issue.

My music collection is way to big, it's like 51GB and most of it is love songs and crap like that. Obviously all of it is illegal, so to the CIA and FBI and whoever has the crap job or reading blogs in the interest of “national safety” but is actually just wasting the US tax payers money I have this to say: My name is Andy, I'm in South Africa, feel free to come and arrest me, but please just bring a can of Dr Pepper with you!!!

Quick question, why is it that every time I find something I like it gets discontinued? I mean, there's Dr Pepper (got pulled out of SA), vanilla coke (just stopped making it), that smokey cheese twister from KFC (also just stopped making it). Why do they drop a good thing?

Then something that really bothers me, people who don't pay their debt. I have a certain client who moaned about the price and now for some reason is taking 2 months to pay, how should I handle it?
Another thing, friends who buy stuff from you and promise to pay the following month, nearly 6 months later I still haven't received anything except empty promises! Unfortunately that makes me feel like I should never ever do anything for them again, but still, it's a friend, so I feel just a touch bad about the asking what the heck is going on.

And this concluded my blog for the week. As usual I have a real good tip: never let a donkey kick you in the face.
So till next time, be good, if not, SEND PICS!

A soldier has fallen

Yes, I know, this post is late, but who actually gives a rats ass? Speaking of rats, interesting thing happened to me last week, as you may or may not know I have recently become, shall we say, an experimental gardener ( that is to say I plant stuff, close my eyes and hope it grows and brings in some money). I have a small area where I grow my own tomatoes, butternut squash and beans. It was in this small area that I encountered my enemy, a rat. It may only have been 10cm from the tip of its nose to the end of its tail, but hidden in that small frame was a heart of pure evil.

Last week as I was weeding I suddenly noticed this little enemy of mine scouting the front lines of the battlefield, all its senses were hyper alert to any changes in the wind direction, any noise, change in smell, everything was examined as if by a CSI team. He did however fail to notice me. So there I was, in a moral dilemma, should I take out my enemy without giving it a fair chance to fight back? Or should I alert him to my presence and have a fair fight... fair implying that the rat was would have been wearing the same size police boots as me, weigh in at roughly 55kg and have a super sharp mind which could instantly calculate pi to the 115th decimal..... ok, I might be stretching that last bit.....

Needless to say I decided to strike while he was looking the other way (never fight fair, you might just loose). I gave him a swift kick into a brick wall and he fell flat on his back, legs slightly kicking in the air.... it was truly a triumphant sight. So there I was, staring at my fallen enemy, I couldn't help myself, I examined him in great detail while he lay there, when all of a sudden his eyes opened up and he jumped upright! My first thought was that he was either a smart little bugger or that my kick merely stunned him for a while and that he would have one heck of a headache.

Strangest thing was then even after the first kick into the brick wall, he still didn't notice me! My thoughts turned from thinking he was a genius to he was either an idiot or blind. So, sticking to my principals of never fighting fair, I stepped on him and squished his evil rat frame into the soft ground. Now for the second time he lay flat on his back, eyes closed and lightly kicking. The idea that he might be a genius went through my thoughts again, so I decided to make a permanent end to this enemy soldier by sending my heel through his ribs. That was the end of him.

So this is my confession for all to read, I killed a rat. If you decide to judge me, I only have one question for you: what would you have done?

Relatively relative

So here I am discussing the theory of relativity with my other personality when all of a sudden a thought crosses my mind and makes a sharp left, what if the theory of relativity isn't relative to me?
How would that change things? Then again, the theory might be more of a suggestion rather than rules, the same way traffic sign are merely a suggestion of what you could do.

Now for something that has been bothering me for the last 5 minutes, am i really happy with the person I am? I mean, let's be honest (for a change), I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, I'm not even sure if I am a knife!! I'm also as creative as a rock (a rock which was watching Deadliest Catch when creativity was handed out to the other rocks which went on to become the foundation of this universe.)

Now you could say my blog makes for a fun read, but let's be honest, I am no classical writer, the subjects I go on about are totally irrelevant and mostly a total waste of time and effort, however, if you do enjoy reading this crap, feel free to make a donation! Paypal details will be added shortly.

Damn. Another thought, here I am asking for donations via the internet and there's no reference to poor starving children in some or other country somewhere who are in need of petrol money for their BMW's, how careless of me....

Anyway, as usual my blog has a real good tip for anybody reading it and today is no different, so, my tip for today: never eat yellow snow.

And that's all for today, I couldn't think of any more rubbish to add, hopefully next week will have more exciting and motivating thoughts.

The wonders of self employment

I just love this whole "self employed" thing, I get up when I want, go to bed when I want, work when I want... best bit is, all the money I get in is MINE and not some asshole who demands 99% of it and then never pays out your commission or anything.

So anyway, couple of days ago I decided it's time to build myself a little project for the sheep, obviously it took a little bit longer than expected, but hey, who gives a damn?! ITS MY TIME! Nobody giving m crap about taking a little bit too long on a project, nobody phoning me and asking how far I am with their crap or anything! Gotta love it.

So here's my message to all you useless people out there, if you have a choice, GET FIRED!